Category Archives: Egg-Free Recipes

Calm The Fark Down Porridge Bowl

If this bowl of;

  • poo pushing
  • nerve-calming
  • veggie-full
  • salted caramel
  • blood sugar balancing

GOODNESS could talk, it would say;

“Calm the FARK down”

– Sincerely, your porridge bowl

Let’s briefly talk ingredients;

  • Wheat-free oats – poo-evacuating roughage for the win
  • Cauliflower – sneaky veg for liver-loving measure
  • Tahini – calcium-rich creaminess
  • Medjool dates – sweetness with dump-persuading fibre
  • Cinnamon – to balance blood sugar
  • Maca – stress-modulating caramel powder
  • Banana – magnesium-rich and shaped like a glorious poo
  • Salted Macadamia butter – bowel-lubricating fats and minerals

And now, for the recipe. I shan’t waste your time with loads of pictures, embedded adds and ramblings about why vitamins are amazing and pooing is essential. YOU KNOW THIS.

Calm The F A R K Down Porridge Bowl

  • 1/3 cup wheat-free oats
  • 1 heaped Tablespoons tahini
  • 2 pitted Medjool dates
  • 1 cup steamed cauliflower blended with 1 1/2 cups water
  • 1 teaspoon maca powder
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 ripe banana, to serve
  • 1 massive (and I mean mega) spoon FULL of salted macadamia butter (for those that don’t take things literally, this is macadamia butter that has been spiked with pink or sea salt)

Place your cauliflower liquid in a saucepan with oats and dates. Bring to the boil and then reduce heat and simmer until thick, soft and creamy. Try breaking your dates up with the mixing spoon. Turn off the heat and add stir through maca, cinnamon and tahini.

Serve with your ripe banana which you were thoughtful enough to slice up and that generous (AND I MEAN GENEROUS) dollop of salted macadamia butter. If you like crunch like yours truly, add a handful of roasted cashews to the top! Yumbo Jumbo! Now, retreat outside to the sunshine with a glorious read – I know of one if you’re looking – and calm the F A R K down so that you can rest and digest!

Sweet (As) Spud Pudding

This seductive sweet spud dish is ‘sweet as’, hence the name. Now, never fear dear readers, I’m will not keep going on like;

a) I own a surf board,

OR

b) I call everyone ‘bro’

The ‘sweet’ talk (sorry) ends here.

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BILF (Bowl I’d like to …)

Well not actually, though I have been known to make suggestive noises when I bite into sumptuous preparations, I do not, repeat DO NOT, make love to my food. Hopefully, however, I grabbed your attention with the title, and now you’re thinking; hmmm orgasmic dinner bowl … I’m intrigued.

This tasty bowl is …

  • Addictive – I’m warning you now
  • A complete source of protein – all essential amino acids are represented
  • Rich in nourishing fatty acids – may your skin, brains, gonads (I’m serious) and hormones drink them in. Cheers.
  • Poop-producing fibre  – so much roughage. Glorious!
  • Easily prepared in advance – busy beavers rejoice!

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Profound Plantain Bread Muffins

These wheat-free, dairy-free, sugar-free and fat-free muffins are overflowing with gut-loving resistant starch.

Heck to ALL the yeahs!

Your gut bugs are going to love you for this!

These muffins are:

  • Light and fluffy
  • Soft (and foodgasm-inducing comforting)
  • Spongy (food-porn at it’s finest)
  • Vegan (hells to the yeah)
  • Full of colon-cell fuelling Resistant Starch (happy poo, happy you)
  • Dense in dietary fibre (did I mention happy poo, happy you?)
  • De-bloody-licious
  • The perfect vehicle for your fave nut butter (because ‘nut butter on life’ is my motto … so much so that I wrote a book about it!)
  • Easy to Make – and rises without sinking (Yasss!!!!)

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Rice Pudding Brekkie

Cooked and cooled rice is a source of resistant starch. Resistant starch (as the name suggests) resists digestion in the small intestine, instead acting as more of a fibre. It’s an incredible fuel source for our gut bugs to keep them thriving and healthy (super important for digestion, amazing skin, immunity and mental health).

The coconut milk is a brill source of fatty acids for nourishment and energy and the warming spices help to balance blood glucose levels. Pair this with the fibre- rich dates and the zinc-loaded pumpkin seeds and you’ve got yourself a pretty snazzy make-ahead brekkie.

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‘Hug in a bowl’ Amazeballs Stew

This stew came about because I had way too many beef marrow bones in the freezer and needed to use them up.

In the nineteen months I spent on GAPS, I craved slow cooked meats, particularly the connective tissue from around animals bones. I kid you not, I  happily ate little bowls of slimy, creamy connective tissue for dessert while my family ate chocolate cake around me. I thought that THEY were the ones missing out!

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Heart(y) Beetroot and Macadamia Salad

Beetroot would have to be the prettiest veggie right? Even if you aren’t rapt in the earthy taste, you’ve got to dig the pinky-purple vibes.

That’s why I love cooking with beets. They make meals damn attractive. I also love that thanks to their nitrate status, beets boost exercise performance, lower blood pressure and improve endothelial dysfunction (Lidder & Webb, 2012).

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Black-belt Bowl

Holy Moly this meal is a winner! Black bean noodles are a brill pasta or noodle replacement and taste so authentic. I love how rich in protein and fibre they are, plus the antioxidant content helps combat the oxidative stress of everyday wear and tear. Paired with a funky broccoli smash plus the totally addictive sweet and salty combo of coconut aminos-roasted almonds, pepitas and dates, this Black-belt Bowl is a nutrient-dense flavour bomb.

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“Fish & Chips”

This is a genius way to make the most of fresh sardines – which are much sweeter than the tinned variety. And, I find, less gag-worthy.

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