Real Food Regrets

In this post I promised a follow up blog where I described my main mistakes when trying to work out what food choices suited my body the best. These mistakes are not regrets (so, my apologies for the title, I just really like alliteration). I learned a lot from making them.

That said,  if I can possibly help you avoid running into similar problems yourself, then consider me having taken one many for the team.

Mistake #1: Not fixing the route cause

After you’ve made the switch to 100% whole foods, you will likely feel a zillion times better than you did before. For me that meant;

  • Breathing like a normal human
  • Pooing daily (oh, the dream)
  • So much energy that you’re annoyingly chirpy
  • Sleeping beautifully (how very Disneyesque)

However, whole foods can become a bit of a “band aid” if you’re gut health still isn’t optimal. This is where I fell down.

I’d been on immune suppressants for my autoimmune disease so long that I’d landed myself not one but two systemic infections; one parasitic, one fungal. Good times. Sense the tone.

They really liked it when I ate whole food carbohydrates because they loved glucose. Not understanding this (and with all the low carb hype of 2015) I thought that I myself didn’t do well on these foods and eliminated them from my diet.

What a sorry porridge-deprived few years they were.

Once I understood that it wasn’t me, it was the worms and fungi (not to be confused with fun guys!), I was able to treat them and be reunited with my beloved bananas. A to the men and ladies!

Mistake #2: Following Trends

At this time in my life, I was in a vulnerable position. I wanted to improve my health but wasn’t educated enough to know how to tweak my diet for the ultimate level of health and healing.

What does a naive 16-year old (that is bedazzled by smooth talking health bloggers) do? She follows trends and then wonders why on earth they aren’t working for her.

I’m going to be honest, my body doesn’t digest grain-like seeds (think quinoa and amaranth) very well. They come out the way they go in – undigested (even if I’ve soaked and sprouted them first).

But damn these grains were cool in 2013. Plus, they were gluten-free and made a mean sushi filling. So, I spent months in denial about what they were actually doing to me (#quinoafarts).

I tried several other eating trends out on my quest to optimise digestion and let me tell you, gut-healing foods simply aren’t sexy. Coconut water kefir is pungent. Bone broth is daggy. And fermented veggies (as much as I love ’em) smell like a public toilet.

You just can’t style soup the way you can a quinoa “gratitude” bowl.

Following trends might lead you to some great recipes and give you the “hipster-feels”, but taking bits and bobs from all the food philosophies out there and creating your own game plan is so much more poo-pacifying. And, in the end, is that not the goal?

Mistake #3: Getting Desperate

Never have I ever made a good decision from a desperate place. When I was eighteen, doubled over from stomach cramps after eating fruit and had no nutrition degree, the internet dangled a (fermented) carrot in front of me and said ‘carbs; bad’, ‘broth; good’, and I took the bait.

This ended up being the most insightful two-year lesson in nutritional brainwashing that I would ever receive. In fact, it taught me just as much as 4 years at university could have about the psychology of eating. Cheers, life. You have always been my best education.

Mistake #4: Being Blinded By Science

Science is incredible. It is also always evolving. It is also prone to bias – no matter how stringent the researchers are.

For every study that says a food (or food group) is good, a rebuttal study will find a problem with it.

Just when you think everyone can agree on leafy greens, someone comes along and screams “Oxalates!” Go home fool.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve ignored my own body because, quite literally, the computer said no. Want some examples? Here you go;

Me: I love banana

Computer: sugar, no, just no.

Me: buckwheat. baby. come on down.

Computer: starch, also no.

Me: but bananas are rich in vitamins and buckwheat makes me feel warm inside. And um, fibre??? That is good no.

Computer: this is the year of the ketogenic paleo. So, again, no.

Me: I’m young, naive and don’t understand how algorithms work. So sure. Oh, look. Bone broth.

Mistake #5: Believing ALL the conspiracies 

Look, nutritional science has fed us some illogical doozies over the years. Here are three examples;

  • That a solution of corn syrup, powdered milk and vegetable oil with crushed cereal and synthetic vitamins is a respectable breakfast
  • That margarine is a health food
  • The all cholesterol is bad

At the same time, these same governing bodies have also imparted common sensical wisdom. Again, here are three examples;

  • That fibre, glorious fibre helps us go number two
  • That vegetables are a good idea
  • That nuts (unless you are allergic) are good for heart health

The issue is that the same experts are touting the same advice. If you start questioning margarine, are you supposed to question fibre also? If you find out that cholesterol is vital to one’s health, does that mean that bacon is now a free for all health food? And nuts, do they really need to be activated and did cave men actually eat them?

The truth is, the only four questions you ever need to ask are;

  1. is this a real food (yes/no)
  2. do I enjoy this food (yes/no/sometimes)
  3. do I feel like this food today (yes/no)
  4. Does history tell me this food is a friend to my bowels (yes/no)

How does this work? Let me count the ways.

  • The aforementioned breakfast replacement is not real
  • Nor is margarine (read the ingredient list and try to make sense of it)
  • Nuts, on the other hand, are a real food
  • I often feel like peanut butter
  • Fibre from whole foods is a good idea – my bowels say so
  • Yes, I do feel like vegetables today. I also feel like dates, dark chocolate and bloody big bowl of porridge

I don’t need to consult my social media feeds, or even the government nutrition guidelines. I can just eat real food, what I like, when I feel like it and take not as to whether this formula serves me poo, glorious poo. That’s far less exhausting than trying to keep up with ever-changing opinions and far left (or right) nutritional agendas.