Isn’t she a beauty. I know, I know. She has my cervix.
I was reluctant to become a book Mamma. To spread my legs and let the literary gods impregnate me with the drive to create a unique and non-cliched publication.
Thankfully I felt the fear and got pregnant (with paper) anyway.
My baby knows what she likes and told me what she needed to be. She refused to be free of typos. No matter how many times I lovingly combed her pages, she’d sneakily play hide and seek with minor corrections. “Mamma” she whispered to me last night before I put her down “now our glorious audience have a game to play when they read – where’s whoopsies?”. Isn’t she a delight? She is challenging my deep-seated perfectionist tendencies and I love her for it.
She insisted on being playful, lively, honest, candid, and, well;
G-L-O-R-I-O-U-S.
Hence her title.
Despite her front cover sporting a delightful Va-J-J, she is a uni-sex read for all ages and stages. If you have a body and sense of humour she was made for you. Periods was such an ace pairing for Poo that we rolled with it. Again, we emphasise as a mother-daughter duo; SHE IS NOT ALL ABOUT PERIODS. Lads gather ’round. What she’s on about is health … but not in a way that you are likely familiar.
She is a collection of my personal anecdotes (mostly surrounding my path from borderline-dead to robust health), orgasmic recipes (start salivating now), jokes and cheek (so much cheek) and health information imparted through cartoons, analogies and a whole lot of heart-felt humour. My baby is ready to play.
She loves;
Making others laugh – for a long, long time. And then when they think back to what they were laughing about, they start laughing all over again. She’s already doing this.
Sharing recipes that are simple, taste orgasmically delicious and ‘just happen to be’ stupendously nourishing
Airing my dirty laundry and poking fun at me wherever she can. I thought this didn’t start happening until the teenage years. Sighs.
Dropping cheeky F-bombs where no other phrase will do. The apple of me eye, I’m telling you.
She refuses to;
Tell you what to do
Make your mind up for you
Preach
Lure people into bandwagon carriages. She’d rather dance alongside you whilst YOU beat the drum that she’s gently supported you in building.
She’s already a social media tart.
Check her out below – she cannot wait to meet you.
Calm your farm, not that sort of quickie – I meant a quick blog post.
A short and sweet (like me) post about skincare. Heck Yes!
The skin is our largest organ. That’s right – an organ. It absorbs topical applications quicker than the digestive tract absorbs ingested substances. It pays to invest in chemical-free skincare products and show the skin some R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
This is not an affiliated post. I do namedrop Twenty8 and KORA organics but only because I’ve been using them for yonks. KORA since I was 15 and Twenty8 since 18. Both are organic, Australian companies that combine the magic of aromatherapy with plant medicine to create ethically natural personal care products. I may also have a girl crush on Miranda Kerr (who doesn’t?) and Kim Morrison (Twenty8 founder) is a friend and mentor of mine and I enjoy helping an amigo out with a candid plug. Anyhow.
I find it frightening that between artificial fragrances and the plethora of chemicals in hair products and cosmetics, the lay person is exposing themselves to thousands of artificial ingredients daily – before they even step out of the bathroom in the morning.
What pacifies this chilling reality is that it’s stupendously easy to make a few simple swaps and displace these thousands of chemicals. Organic products are potent and end up lasting you twice as long as the regular stuff. While it may seem like an investment initially, you aren’t spending extra money overall. Winning!
Below is my regular skincare regimen + some tips on how to save dollars and still have glowing skin. I know I’m only 22 – but I still manage to look like a sweet 16 year old – minus the ‘problem skin’ -so I must be doing a few things right skincare-wise.
From back left; soothing facial moisturiser, toner, cleanser, crystals (for a face massage) and eye cream. All organic, local brands (except crystals – they’re probably from overseas).
My Morning ‘quickie’
First thing every morning – no matter how much my dear sweet Carly Cat is screaming at me for her brekkie – I take a few minutes to cleanse and moisturise. I cleanse with my Twenty8 cleanser, pat my face dry and then spritz my face and neck with Twenty8 toner. I have had the same toner concentrate for 4 years and I’ve still got plenty! How? It’s a concentrated solution that you dilute in water, a wee bit goes an extraordinarily long way. I then moisturise my damp face and neck with KORA organics soothing moisturiser. I only use the tiniest little pump and which is all I need. This cream lasts me at least 4 months. I then finish with the tiniest smear of Twenty8 firming eye cream. I use this morning and night – right before bed. This tiny jar lasts me about 6 months – sometimes longer. Ok Carly Cat, time for brekkie – thanks for waiting. Meow. Scratch, scratch. Meow.
Why not give yourself a tarot reading with one hand and a crystal massage with the other? Snaps to multi-tasking. I know what you’re thinking. Rach is a fucking hippy cliche. Ain’t nothing wrong with that dear ones. At least I’m a happy hippy cliche – with happy skin to match. Boom shakalaka.
Crystal Facial
A few times a week I’ll grab one of my smooth finished crystals and massage my face and neck with it in circular motions. Not only does it feel relaxing, I dig the ritual of taking the time to give myself a crystal facial. This is a great one to do on a short stroll in the morning (two birds, one stone) or even when having a conversation with someone. It can be pretty mindless. A simple act of self-care. Plus, once you’ve invested in the crystal, it’s free. Every time.
Twenty8 clay mask featuring my snazzy unicorn shower cap. Me sexy.
A Mask
I try to do a mask once or twice a week. At the moment I have the twenty8 clay mask but if I’m opting for the DIY option, I’ll simply combine some tahini (ground sesame paste) and raw cacao. I buy both in bulk from The Source Bulk Foods – so it’s a dirt cheap option. It is a bit messy, so I’ll apply it starkers (yes, naked) and just pace back and forth on my back lawn (or lie down and listen to some tunes) while my skin soaks up the oils and antioxidants. Then I hope in the shower and wash it off. My skin feels like a baby’s bottom afterwards – minus the poop smears. Glorious.
Additional Budget Friendly Tips
An easy body scrub (apply naked on back lawn or on an old towel in the bathroom if you have snoopy neighbours or don’t have a back lawn) is a few spoons of rapadura (or coconut) sugar mixed with extra virgin olive oil and a drop of your fave essential oil. Use as an exfoliant from neck to toe. Give yourself a good massage with it and then rinse off in the shower. Your skin will feel amazing and smell effing divine. Sexy feels get around you!
Extra virgin olive oil and organic coconut oils make the cheapest and easiest body moisturisers. Spike with a tiny drop of essential oil and you displace the need for perfume.
Olive oil is a great eye treatment overnight. I got this tip from one of my heroes; Lola Berry (thanks Lols). Apply a drop around the eye area and massage in before hitting the sack. It soaks in overnight. Antioxidants in the olives rejuvenate skin cells.
Wear a cap. Seriously, Vitamin D is bloody important, but having a cap will shield the face and neck – arguably the most sensitive areas that receive sun exposure – from too many sunny vibes.
Eat antioxidants. Veg the fuck up dear ones. Bright coloured fruits and veggies, as well as nuts, seeds, legumes, herbs, spices and organic wholegrains such as oats and brown rice are your skin’s best mates. Antioxidants slow the ageing process, whilst the natural plant oils feed the skin. A list of heroes to get you started; avocados, walnuts, berries, greens, sweet spuds, apples turmeric, ginger, cinnamon, paprika, pumpkin, figs and prunes.
Well not actually, though I have been known to make suggestive noises when I bite into sumptuous preparations, I do not, repeat DO NOT, make love to my food. Hopefully, however, I grabbed your attention with the title, and now you’re thinking; hmmm orgasmic dinner bowl … I’m intrigued.
This tasty bowl is …
Addictive – I’m warning you now
A complete source of protein – all essential amino acids are represented
Rich in nourishing fatty acids – may your skin, brains, gonads (I’m serious) and hormones drink them in. Cheers.
Poop-producing fibre – so much roughage. Glorious!
Easily prepared in advance – busy beavers rejoice!
Holy Moly! How random is it that I feel this intense drive to write a post about breakfast of all things? Someone out there must really be in need of some clarity, and the universe has called upon me to rectify the supposed ‘rules’ and idealisms that accompany breaking the overnight fast.
I’ll keep things brief because this matter is stupendously simple;
“You can break the fast whenever you feel called to, and when you do, your body appreciates it to be done with REAL FOOD!”
Most of us see a cold, flu or sniffle and an inevidable part of the Winter season. I used to think it was the cold weather that made us more susceptible. Not directly apparently. It actually has far more to do with how our lifestyles change in Winter. We spend more time inside, so we’re breathing in more recycled air, thats likely full of germs. The heating systems don’t do much to help and can dry out our mucous membranes (remember that mucous is one of our first lines of defence against pathogens).
We may become more sedentary, as we think it’s too dark, cold and miserable to get outside. This also means we’re getting less Vitamin D – a hormone that has immune-modulating effects. Then there’s the craving for comfort foods that might be a bit stodgier and less nutritious that our Summer and Spring cravings for smoothies and vibrant salads.
When I was in primary school, my absolute favourite baked good was mum’s homemade milk-chocolate chip muffins. They were seriously the best. Light, fluffy and loaded with sweet and creamy chocolate chips. Like most kids, I had quirky ways of eating certain foods. I loved nothing more than to nibble the buttery muffin parts around the choccie chips, leaving big mounds of chocolate sections for an epic chocolate-in-my-mouth “explosion” afternoon tea finale.
A blogger fave of mine, Megan from detoxinista.com, writes regular posts entitled; What I Ate, where she shares photos and explanations of what she’s eating lately. I find it weirdly fascinating to take a glimpse at someone else’s nutrition habits. I’m guessing this strange interest is what makes me cut out to be a nutritionist.
