Holy Heck she is finally here.

I was reluctant to become a book Mamma. To spread my legs and let the literary gods impregnate me with the drive to create a unique and non-cliched publication.

Thankfully I felt the fear and got pregnant (with paper) anyway.

My baby knows what she likes and told me what she needed to be. She refused to be free of typos. No matter how many times I lovingly combed her pages, she’d sneakily play hide and seek with minor corrections. “Mamma” she whispered to me last night before I put her down “now our glorious audience have a game to play when they read – where’s whoopsies?”. Isn’t she a delight? She is challenging my deep-seated perfectionist tendencies and I love her for it.

She insisted on being playful, lively, honest, candid, and, well;

G-L-O-R-I-O-U-S.

Hence her title.

Despite her front cover sporting a delightful Va-J-J, she is a uni-sex read for all ages and stages. If you have a body and sense of humour she was made for you. Periods was such an ace pairing for Poo that we rolled with it. Again, we emphasise as a mother-daughter duo; SHE IS NOT ALL ABOUT PERIODS. Lads gather ’round. What she’s on about is health … but not in a way that you are likely familiar.

She is a collection of my personal anecdotes (mostly surrounding my path from borderline-dead to robust health), orgasmic recipes (start salivating now), jokes and cheek (so much cheek) and health information imparted through cartoons, analogies and a whole lot of heart-felt humour. My baby is ready to play.

She loves;

• Making others laugh – for a long, long time. And then when they think back to what they were laughing about, they start laughing all over again. She’s already doing this.
• Sharing recipes that are simple, taste orgasmically delicious and ‘just happen to be’ stupendously nourishing
• Airing my dirty laundry and poking fun at me wherever she can. I thought this didn’t start happening until the teenage years. Sighs.
• Dropping cheeky F-bombs where no other phrase will do. The apple of me eye, I’m telling you.

She refuses to;

• Tell you what to do
• Make your mind up for you
• Preach
• Lure people into bandwagon carriages. She’d rather dance alongside you whilst YOU beat the drum that she’s gently supported you in building.

She’s already a social media tart.

Check her out below – she cannot wait to meet you.