All posts by Rachel

Menopause and Body Composition: what you need to know

Ladies, we need to talk.

Now, I know what you’re probably thinking.

Rach, you’re 27. What on earth would you know about menopause?

To that I say: fair. But also, The Liver.

You: The Liver?

Me: Yes, The Liver.

You see, what I lack in age, I make up for by having extensive knowledge about our largest internal organ.

Being diagnosed with autoimmune hepatitis at age 14 was a baptism of fire into life as a liver-adoring, detox-obsessed citizen.

While most people don’t come to appreciate how extraordinarily important this precious organ is until much later in life, I received a crash course in the magnitude of liver health before I was even old enough to drive (or ovulate, for that matter).

You: Yes, but what does the liver have to do with Menopause?

Me: Everything.

You: Everything?

Me: Well, no. I just like to be dramatic. But the Liver is significantly impacted by the drop in oestrogen experienced during menopause.

You: THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION! TELL ME MORE!

Me: Gladly, but first we need to talk about the adrenal glands.

Oestrogen and The Adrenal Glands

There are 4 parts of the body that are capable of making the hormone oestrogen: the ovaries, the liver, the adrenal glands and fat cells. From puberty until menopause, the ovaries will make the majority of a female’s oestrogen requirements. Her liver, adrenal glands and fat cells can help out where need be as well, but it’s not their main priority.

When a female enters peri-menopause (which is almost like a second puberty, in that it can be a time of rapid change that lasts for several years) her ovaries start making less oestrogen. Eventually, they stop altogether. This lack of oestrogen stops the monthly cycle, as there’s no longer enough oestrogen to stimulate the growth of follicles (fluid-filled sacs that house developing eggs). No follicular growth, no egg release. No egg release, no ovulation. No ovulation, no period. Simples.

The thing is, we need oestrogen for far more than just baby-making.

We also need it for:

  • bone density
  • maintenance of muscle mass
  • libido
  • a healthy nervous system
  • to optimise cholesterol levels

After menopause, the adrenal glands (small glands that sit just above the kidneys – they are the glands that release Cortisol when we are stressed) pick up the slack and make the majority of a female’s oestrogen supply.

We’ll circle back to this. But first, let’s get back to The Liver.

Oestrogen and The Liver

A healthy and balanced amount of oestrogen benefits the liver by:

  • inhibiting liber fibrosis (scarring)
  • protecting against liver damage
  • inhibiting cellular ageing in liver cells
  • increasing innate immunity (the body’s ability to protect itself from invading substances)
  • regulating inflammation

The liver can make a small amount of oestrogen.

This means that at the same time that oestrogen production (which has supported liver health for decades ) significantly declines, the liver must take on another job (producing oestrogen) on top of its already bloated to-do list. You can read more about that colossal to-do list here.

Menopause in the Modern World

It probably comes as no shock that we are all exposed to way more artificial substances than is conductive to good health.

  • Artificial fragrances are in just about everything.
  • Glyphosate is everywhere (all of my books touch on this – what can I say? Glyphosate awareness is a passion of mine. Yes, I consider herbicide awareness a ‘passion’. It’s a little sad but there you go).
  • Convenience foods are (generally) filled with artificial additives and inflammatory vegetable oils.
  • All of our personal care products (unless we actively choose to buy the all-natural options) are filled with substances that the liver has to deal with (and quite frankly, she has better things to do).

It also won’t surprise you when I say that modern living is stressful! Not stressful in the ‘I could get eaten by a bear tomorrow‘ scenario of the Stone Age. No, more so in a ‘I have 16,434 emails in my inbox; my car rego is due; is that a hair growing out of my chin? Great, now I need to start waxing my face; oh shivers, I forgot to take something out of the freezer to defrost for dinner; the RBA just announced the 10 billionth interest rate rise this year (slight exaggeration); ugh I need to get a blood test but when am I supposed to fit that in to my schedule?‘ kind of way.

Between the onslaught of substances that the liver has to process on a daily basis and the near constant amount of cortisol that the adrenals produce in response to the modern mental load, the liver and the adrenal glands have their work cut out for them. Especially by the time the 40s and 50s roll around. Throw in decades of alcohol and processed convenience foods (often used to cope with aforementioned stressors) and several unresolved traumas (who has the time for therapy?) and it’s no wonder that your body struggles to make enough oestrogen to keep you feeling balanced during and after menopause.

Oestrogen Deficiency

The symptoms associated with menopause – weight gain, hot flushes, mood swings and dryness (down ‘there’) – are a result of low oestrogen, so really, any woman, no matter her age, can experience them if she has low oestrogen levels. I had low oestrogen until my early twenties due to my autoimmune hepatitis, and as a result, can attest that hot flushes certainly aren’t a symptom exclusive to middle-aged women. When one is subsiding on only 2% liver function (which, at my sickest, I was), their body is hardly going to bother making enough hormones to ovulate. Ironically, this lack of oestrogen is only going to make their liver symptoms worse (muscle loss, nausea, itchy skin, disturbed sleep).

Here’s the conundrum. Low oestrogen isn’t good for the liver and sub-optimal liver function can exacerbate oestrogen deficiency. Similarly, low oestrogen can cause undesired weight gain, as can poor liver health. Circling back to the adrenal glands and cortisol, when cortisol is high, so is blood glucose, and this blocks our ability to burn fat. To complicate matters further, sex hormones and stress hormones have similar biochemical building blocks, and the body will always prioritise making stress hormones over sex hormones. Sure, it’s nice to have healthy cholesterol levels, a balanced mood and strong bones, but in the short term, not having the immediate resources to cope with a threat will kill you faster – hence why the body survives first and thrives second.

Menopause and Body Composition

As we get older, unless we diligently maintain strength and conditioning exercises (such as Pilates, weights and yoga) and pair this with a protein-rich whole foods diet, it’s likely that we will lose muscle mass. Muscle mass is important for so many reasons. Obviously, we need it to perform all basic daily functions (moving around, lifting things, digesting, pooing, peeing, etc.) but it also supports bone density and resting metabolism. Though most of us have grown up in an era where we were duped into believing that being light on the scales is a good thing, the reality is, it’s not about being light, but rather, fit and toned.

People often mistakenly say “muscle weighs more than fat” (full disclosure, I used to parrot this common myth as a teenager, because “everyone” says it). This simply isn’t true. A kilo of muscle weighs a kilo. A kilo of fat weighs a kilo. However, muscle is denser than fat, so that 1kg takes up less space. So, if you gain a few kilos of muscle, you won’t look any bigger, just more toned. The scales aren’t a very accurate measure of health, so you’re better off focussing on where you carry your weight.

Low oestrogen levels make women prone to carrying extra fat around their mid-section, whereas having healthy oestrogen levels tells the body to store fat around the hips and thighs – away from vital organs. While weight gain is common around menopause, sometimes it’s not so much weight gain as fat redistribution (from the thighs and hips to the tummy). Also, as fat cells can aid in oestrogen production, sometime the body will make more of them in an attempt to balance hormone levels. Clever, but inconvenient for anyone looking to avoid fat gain (which is most of us).

Prevention

One of the best ways to prevent significant changes to body composition during and after menopause is to follow the strategies listed below. I say “significant [changes]” because you can’t stop the process of change altogether. Just as you couldn’t stop your boobs, hips and thighs getting bigger during puberty – no matter how skinny the rest of your body remained – you can’t stop the body composition changes that come with natural hormonal change. What you can do, however, is lessen the enormity of this change by making adjustments to your diet and lifestyle (to those who just said, ‘but I eat healthy already‘, I am almost certain that there are still a few things that you could tweak). Oh and speaking of boobs, it’s totally normal for them to grow bigger by a cup size or two during menopause, just in case you were wondering. Excellent news for those of us in the itty-bitty bitty committee (finally, we can fill out a bikini top). Potentially less exciting for those who were already well endowed.

Optimising Body Composition after Menopause

Food

You need to focus on the quality of your diet. Ultra-processed foods aren’t good for anyone, but especially those who are looking to support their livers. Opt for whole foods and eliminate anything that contains or has been prepared with: (non-organic) wheat, corn and soy; vegetable oil (including canola, rapeseed, sunflower etc oils); and refined sugars.

Additionally, adding phytoestrogen-containing foods to your diet can help. Phytoestrogens can mimic the effects of oestrogen and prevent deficiency symptoms. Phytoestrogens can be found in organic soy – such as organic tofu, tempeh or edamame pasta (please don’t eat non-organic soy) – flaxseeds, oats and lentils. This is a worthwhile article for those who are like ‘I can eat my way to hormone health? Sign me up yesterday‘.

I go into detail about WHY eating whole foods and ditching foods sprayed with glyphosate (wheat, corn, soy – unless organic), or containing refined oils and sugars is VITAL for human health in my books – and not to be all ‘salesperson’ on you, but I genuinely recommend all four of them as companions for those wanting to optimise their health at ANY age.

Meet my books

The first one uses anecdotes, cartoons, analogies and recipes (which are now favourites in all of my friends/clients homes) to explore each body system and how it is affected by diet and lifestyle. It may have the word ‘periods’ in the title, but please believe me when I say that this book has been a godsend to many of my peri/pos menopausal clients. It’s more about how to balance your gut, hormones and emotions with diet and lifestyle (without fasting, giving up chocolate or eliminating carbs – you’re welcome in advance).

The second teaches you how to optimise your diet WITHOUT developing an eating disorder in the process. It’s basically The Barefoot Investor, but with food as opposed to finance. Unlike my other books, which dive deeper into nutrition science, this one keeps it super simple by instead giving you a wholesome road map to heal your relationship with food, health and body image. If you feel simultaneously overwhelmed, frustrated and confused by the mixed (and often contradictory) messages in nutrition media, this resource is for you.

The third teaches you how to incorporate nuts and seeds into your diet in ways that support the health of the gut, hormones, brain, immune system and skin. And no, nuts contain fat but they won’t MAKE you fat. If you’re all about easy serving suggestions and minimal effort in the kitchen (and love some nerdy details about why your favourite foods are good for you), then I wrote this book especially for you.

Finally, my fourth book dives deep (but in a funny way) into the Top 12 things I wish EVERYONE knew about their body, food and environment. This was probably my favourite book to create, and after Periods, Poo & A Glorious You, my community’s favourite read. Especially those that like facts, evidence and detailed explanations.

I poured my heart and soul into these babies so that you don’t have to spend years (or a fortune) figuring it out on your own.

Fitness

Walking is great for all-round health and keeping your legs toned, but your upper body also needs some TLC. I recommend Pilates and Yoga, as they stretch and strengthen the body, whilst allowing you to use your own body weight to do resistance training. If you want to pick just one to begin with, I’m bias towards Yoga. The deep stretching and longer holds keep the body flexible, mobile and strong (Pilates is amazing but won’t keep you as flexible as Yoga will). Basically, you want to maintain muscle AND mobility (no point pushing it too far with extreme exercises that make you injury prone – then you won’t be able to do anything, and will consequently lose muscle (slowing your metabolism down to snail pace).

Yoga: the exercise for people who find traditional ‘cardio’ boring, and the meditation for those who struggle to sit still.

Fun (and Nervous System)

If you don’t yet have a meditation practice (this can be doing art, walking in nature, swimming in the ocean, relaxing in the bathtub or taking a dance or Yoga class, by the way; it doesn’t have to be the ‘sitting on a cushion’ set-up that comes to mind when we hear the ‘M’ word), you need one. Even if 5 minutes a day can make a difference.

We need to keep the adrenal glands healthy, and the best way to do this is stress management. This begins with regulating the nervous system and coming back to the present moment and incorporating ‘play’ (anything that you enjoy simply because it brings you joy – it DOES NOT NEED TO BE PRODUCTIVE) into your weeks . Oh, and quick clarifier, meditation isn’t necessarily about emptying the mind, but rather holding space for it to process what’s already there, whilst taking a break from receiving any new information from external sources.

I’d suggest other strategies too, such as digital detoxes (intermittently stepping away from emails and social media as a means of disconnecting from external demands and opinions) or saying the word ‘no’ more often (fellow people-pleasers, I’m lovingly looking at you), but I don’t know your unique circumstances, and don’t want to give unrealistic recommendations that make you feel like you’re ‘failing’ (because you’re not). The society in which we live is A LOT (understatement) and we’re all doing an incredible job simply surviving our days without going insane. Self-care is easier said than done; this we know all too well.

Full disclosure, this was a photoshoot. Rarely do I look this glam when I’m riding my bike. But it was kind of fun to ride in boots.

Other considerations

  • Book a session with me if you need 1:1 support with dietary change. I specialise in eating for liver, gut, hormone, immune and mental health.
  • Get your Thyroid checked (low thyroid function causes unwanted weight gain, among other unpleasant symptoms). I recommend a full thyroid profile, not just TSH (thyroid-stimulating hormone). If you’re GP can’t do this, your local naturopath should be able to help out (check with them before you book and pay for your consult).
  • Connect with my friend Kim from Solstice Nutrition and have a comprehensive hormone profile done. This is way more technical than getting them checked at the the GP btw – Kim can look at HOW your body is breaking down and using hormones and make personalised recommendations for your body. And before you ask, no, this is not an affiliate situation. Kim is an incredible holistic nutritionist here in Adelaide and as I’m too busy teaching to order and analyse these specialised tests for you, Kim is who I refer my people on to when simple dietary change alone isn’t making the difference they need it to.

An Ode to Dietary Fibre

So, this article was originally called ‘I just can’t wait to be s***’ (a parody of the Lion King’s ‘I just can’t wait to be king’). But shortly after hitting ‘post’, I panicked. What if people don’t read the article but they see the title? I for one am NOT waiting in line to become a turd and I can’t for one second have anyone believing that I am. I have a reputation to protect.

You: Rach, you wrote a book with a bright pink cartoon uterus on the cover, what part of your reputation is left to protect?

Me: How very dare you? The cover of Periods, Poo & A Glorious You is a modern masterpiece … and that is a hill I am willing to die on!

You: Okay, okay! Can you just teach me about dietary fibre already?

Me: How about we get dietary fibres to address you directly. After all, they genuinely can’t wait to be s***.

‘I Just Can’t Wait To Be S***’ is a parody performed by dietary fibre. The lyrics are what I’m assuming they ‘sing’ as they anticipate the glory of sliding out of your intestinal slippery dip in one, long, smooth, satisfying piece. Basically, this poopy performance is about the journey of poo.

We really gotta hand it to The Lion King, don’t we? I mean, the lyrics ‘I just can’t wait to be king’ can so easily be changed to ‘I just can’t wait to be s***’ (it’s almost as if Elton John knew), which is exactly what the fibres in your favourite foods are thinking as they begin their digestive field trip.

If you’re up for a digestive field trip – complete with digestive enzymes that hi-ho like the seven dwarfs – look no further than chapter three of Periods, Poo & A Glorious You. Available here.

Last time we met, we compared The Circle of Life to our gut microbiomes. Today, I’ll be taking cues from Sir Elton John and Tim Rice (songwriting royalty), altering their classic Lion King hit to talk, quite literally, about the journey of s***. But first, a moment to appreciate that carefully embedded rhyme … thank you.

You: What rhyme?

Me: Hit and S*** … duh.

“Oh I just can’t wait to be s***”

It’s a song that has been performed countless times before by all of your fibrous friends. From the resistant starch in your leftover baked potatoes to the prebiotics in the cashews that you give ‘come hither’ looks to every time you spy them sitting sexily upon the pantry shelf.

In fact, I believe that these muffins won a ‘Crappy’ award (the colonic-equivalent of a ‘Grammy’) at last year’s MTV (Massive Turd Video) awards. Okay, so clearly that last part is fictional, but isn’t learning far more engaging when humour is used as an educational medium? I mean, would there be a brown carpet at the Crappies? Would the gold trophies be in the shape of a toilet? Who would host the ceremony?

You: Rach, you need help.

Me: do I though?

(Bowel) Movements & Lyrics

Fibre: I’m gonna be a mighty turd, so toilets best beware

Me: Well I’ve never met a spud or seed with so much bulk to share

Fibre: I’m gonna give these bowels a vent,

Like no shit has before

I’m brushing up on flushing down

And tightening up your core

I’ll go so far, your gut can’t help but sing

Oh I just can’t wait to be s***

No one passing “just piss”

They’ll be passing “mushed pear”

With the help of “good fats

I’ll fly out of their rear

Me: for a long, long time, you know you’ve had my heart

Fibre: Oh Rach, we love to make you fart

Me: Down to my colon, you are headed

and soon, you’ll come right out …

…Of my rear, how spec-tac-u-lar

that’s what this song’s about …

… your journey to becoming faecal bling

Fibre: Oh I just can’t wait to be s***

The take-home?

We need dietary fibre and we need a wide variety of them at that. It’s not a matter of just taking a fibre supplement or buying bread that has been fortified with a trademarked form of resistant starch. We need to brainstorm all of the veggies, fruits, nuts, seeds, legumes and whole grains (not wheat, unless it’s organic) that we enjoy and aim to include as many of them as possible throughout the week.

Those with the most varied diets (well, those who consume the most varied amounts of natural plant fibres) generally have the best health outcomes (and the most satisfying bowel motions). So please. Stop starving your gut bugs by eating fibre-devoid meals or restricting your food intake to such a degree that you gut bugs suffer.

And if you’re currently LYAO*

*Laughing Your Ass Off, may I suggest you adopt my first hilarious book; Periods, Poo & A Glorious You? As a self-published author and qualified nutritionist, I invested in my own work so that for a small fee, you would have access to just about every health lesson I learned between the ages of 12-22 .

This is the ‘bible’ I wished I’d been handed before I began middle school. The resource my immune system wished I’d had before I developed autoimmune hepatitis. The publication that my gut bugs wished I’d had (or more specifically, my parents had) from birth.

And when you purchase direct from me, you’re helping me earn back that investment. Buying from the publisher or places like Booktopia means that for the same cost to you, I earn a lot, lot less. I sell through them as well, only to reach (and thus help) a wider audience. So, if it’s no trouble for you, I’d be grateful if you chose to purchase direct from me.

And to say thank you, if you purchase two or three at a time from my home warehouse, you get a glorious discount and (I’m assuming) one or two of your lucky loved ones will be gifted a book by the GLORIOUS you.

Thank you in advance for supporting me and my mission to heal hormones, bowels and brains the nation over.

Oh, and if you’re after personalised support, your first nutritional consult or counselling session with me comes with a book as well.

King Poofasa

Who is King Poofasa? Let me explain.

Yesterday, I saw Disney’s The Lion King (the original cartoon) for the first time. I’ll give you a moment to recover from the shock. Indeed, for the first 23 years of my life, I was a Lion King virgin. Appalling.

You right?

What’s that?

Oh, come on. It’s not that bad. Besides, my selective cartoon virginity is not the point of this post. It’s the following tale of King Poofasa (Mufasa’s ‘gutsy’ alter-ego) that deserves the limelight (or should I say lion light? No Rach, you really shouldn’t).

Continue reading King Poofasa

In Defence of Food

As a nutritionist, and food-loving human, it is my job to lend a voice to the innocent ingredients that are commonly used as diet-shaming clickbait. As nutritional science can get drier than cereal without milk, I’m sprucing up the conversation by turning it into a lively courtroom drama. Welcome to Raw & Disorder, let’s begin.

In the nutritional justice system, dietary based offenses do not sustain us. In this article, a whimsical nutritionist lends her platform to vilified food stuffs. These are their stories. *Dun, Dun*.

Continue reading In Defence of Food

Chocolate Chip Colon Care Muffins

These muffins are a result of leftover chickpeas (I used the rest to make the Orgasmic Cookie Dough from Periods, Poo & A Glorious You), a big-ass pumpkin and a new delivery of chocolate chips.

I’d rather celebrate what they are, rather than what they are NOT, but this is 2020 and we like labels for ease of navigation. So, for your convenience, please know that these babies are …

  • Vegan
  • Gluten-free
  • Added sugar-free
  • Dairy-free
  • Egg-free
  • Nut-free
Continue reading Chocolate Chip Colon Care Muffins

Star Crossed Nut Butters

We’ve read the planetary guide to pooping.

And it was good times.

Today, the topic is even more glorious.

The nut (or seed) butter to match your glorious sun (or moon) sign.

It’s no secret that nut butter on life is my motto and honestly, this post has been a long time coming.

The other day, my best friend (and fellow nutritionist) Lana and I decided that the world was ready for an astrological guide to nut butter.

You best believe that we thought long and hard about which nut (or seed) butter best suited each zodiac sign.

Let’s not mess about with small talk.

Without further ado, here’s the list.

Continue reading Star Crossed Nut Butters

A Planatary Guide to Pooping

Humour via horoscopes.

I’m a sucker for all that zodiac jazz.

It’s also no secret that I love talking turds.

With the toilet paper hoarding of late going down, I thought it might be fun to personify 12 foods that help to co-create euphoric bowel motions and meet them from an astrological perspective.

Some foods are common whilst some are quirky, because if you can’t name drop a few innovative ingredients in an article about astrology where can you?

At the very least, it should inspire you to amend your anal evacuations, saving you the irrational fear of toilet paper insecurity. A good poo is one that barely needs a wipe down after voiding.

Continue reading A Planatary Guide to Pooping

Happy Birthday Baby

Happy Birthday to Periods

Happy Birthday to Poo

Happy Birthday Book Baby

You’re a Glorious You!


Yesterday was my baby’s first birthday!

You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful. You’re glorious, you’re you. The perfect place, for a vulva face and a happy smiling poo. Who wouldn’t want to read you through?

To celebrate, I’ve written her a love song.

Thanks for the inspiration, James Blunt.

If you want to celebrate with me, feel free to make her (and my) day and adopt of a copy (or two, or three) of her glorious pages.

Everyone who purchases a copy (or several) of my papery offspring, will score a complementary 30-minute personalised nutrition Q&A with me. All your burning questions answered.

If you already own the book, buy a copy for a loved one and keep the consult for yourself. That’s still a consult for the price of a book.

And now, for a little ditty to make y’all giggle, because we all need a little extra humour at the moment.


You’re Glorious, You’re You!


Hey book, you’re brilliant

Your message pure

You are an angel

I so adore

Your smile and your display

Your loyal fans

Your unassuming humour

Your cheeky plans


You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

You’re glorious, You’re you

The perfect place

For a vulva face

And a happy, smiling poo

Who wouldn’t want to read you through?


If my over-use of embedded links failed to entice you, below are a few visually pleasing links, one of which has stars on it.

I look forward to treating you to a complementary nutrition Q&A.

If you missed it on Facebook, I performed the chorus for ya’ll.

Sing for immunity

On Saturday I posted this goofy video with the intention of granting humour to news feeds bogged down with COVID-19 pessimism.

My friends were probably thinking ‘Rach, stop singing’, but they’re too polite to say so. Oh well, at least my vagus nerve was happy (this nerve, which acts as someone of a telephone connection between the gut and the brain LOVES it when we sing, its like therapy for this cranial nerve).

And seeing as 70% of the immune system sits in the gut, to my precious immune cells I say ‘you are most welcome‘.

It’s no secret that I love ginger … and nut butter.

In fact, I love nut butter so much that I wrote a whole chapter about it, called Buttery Blended Nuts, which contains one of my favourite sections in the entire book. The oil plant high school reunion.

Hahaha, this whimsical character sketch never gets old! Check out the smug look on Peanut’s face. Classic.

Speaking of peanut. I cannot stress enough how incredible the following combo tastes;

  • Fresh ginger
  • Dried fruit of choice (I recommend raisins or dates or a dried fruit-medley with figs and apricots too)
  • Nut (or seed) butter of choice

It is a gingernut biscuit batter party in your mouth with all the immune-boosting properties of ginger, cell-renewing benefits of nuts and sweet fibrous offerings of dehydrated fruit. Genius.

I am so excited by this combination that I wrote a parody about it. It’s not called Price Tag (I’d never rip Jessie J off). It’s my vice brag. Not that I consider peanut butter out of the jar a ‘vice’, but I needed a rhyme and some might think my double-dipping disgusting.

I wish to inform you that I am the only one in my house who eats peanut butter. One jar doesn’t even last me a week. There’s no risk of cross contamination, nor microbial accumulation. I keep it clean and I keep it whimsical. And on that reputation-covering note, here’s the S*** I sing on Saturdays (my Facebook friend probably wish I didn’t). Enjoy amigos.

Vice Brag


“Peanut butter fan, apricot head and tahini, ginger’s ready”


Seems like everybody’s got a vice,

A crutch the like to hold real tight

Under a veil they thirst

For the thing they reckon

Will put a smile on their dial


Why should I think I’m delirious

Because I take my nut butter so serious

I slap it on pies

And steamed Broccoli

It’s always a bloody good time


An oversized spoon in my left (hand)

A jar of nut butter in my right (hand)

I don’t really wanna share,

My nut butter portions, alright


It doesn’t cost much money, money, money

Nor make my poos runny, runny, runny

But it makes my Vitamix dance

Into the blender from the nut bag

Ginger gives it; za-zing, za-zing

Dried friut makes it; sa-sing, sa-sing

And it makes my Vitamix Dance

And that’s my humble vice brag


Love to y’all. Stay happy and wash your hands often. Yours in balancing hysteria with humour,

Rachie xxx