Hiya, it’s Kayla Kumara, celebrated producer of the ‘fictitious’ – we only exist in Rach’s musical imagination – fibre-celebrating band, ‘Flour Power’. Yesterday, we gave our first performance and it received so many carbohydrate-appreciating giggles that we’re following it up with an encore.
A personalised shout-out to our glorious groupie, Lana, who requested we take a trip back to the 90’s with an iconic Aqua spin-off that we’ve aptly named ‘Carby Girl’. We’ll let you figure out what the original was called, but here’s a hint; perky plastic breasts.
Howdy friends, my name is Riley Rice, lead vocalist for the fictitious band ‘Flour Power’. On guitar we have Borris Buckwheat, Drums is Peter Potato and our epic producer is Kayla Kumara.
We are on a mission to silence the carby skeptics whilst celebrating the merits of saccharides, starch and fibre. Actually Rach is on a mission, but she sensed that you’d be far more entertained if we championed her message with our musical flare. Flour Power!
I am currently obsessed with ginger. So besotted by this spicy root that I am eating her raw off the knob. Dirty stuff, right?
I’m a redhead. In other words, a ginger nut. On an auburn level does this make me a cannibal? Hmm, a hairy dilemma indeed. I digress.
I could rave for days about how amazing raw ginger tastes with raisins and peanut butter or how when you put her in your mouth at the same time as roasted sweet potato and creamy almond butter you land yourself in a ‘foodie dream team’ version of heaven.
But I’ll do you one better. I’ve invited Miss Ginger Root herself on to talk about why she’s so fabulous. Welcome Ginger.
Wheat-free oats – poo-evacuating roughage for the win
Cauliflower – sneaky veg for liver-loving measure
Tahini – calcium-rich creaminess
Medjool dates – sweetness with dump-persuading fibre
Cinnamon – to balance blood sugar
Maca – stress-modulating caramel powder
Banana – magnesium-rich and shaped like a glorious poo
Salted Macadamia butter – bowel-lubricating fats and minerals
And now, for the recipe. I shan’t waste your time with loads of pictures, embedded adds and ramblings about why vitamins are amazing and pooing is essential. YOU KNOW THIS.
Calm The F A R K Down Porridge Bowl
1/3 cup wheat-free oats
1 heaped Tablespoons tahini
2 pitted Medjool dates
1 cup steamed cauliflower blended with 1 1/2 cups water
1 teaspoon maca powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 ripe banana, to serve
1 massive (and I mean mega) spoon FULL of salted macadamia butter (for those that don’t take things literally, this is macadamia butter that has been spiked with pink or sea salt)
Place your cauliflower liquid in a saucepan with oats and dates. Bring to the boil and then reduce heat and simmer until thick, soft and creamy. Try breaking your dates up with the mixing spoon. Turn off the heat and add stir through maca, cinnamon and tahini.
Serve with your ripe banana which you were thoughtful enough to slice up and that generous (AND I MEAN GENEROUS) dollop of salted macadamia butter. If you like crunch like yours truly, add a handful of roasted cashews to the top! Yumbo Jumbo! Now, retreat outside to the sunshine with a glorious read – I know of one if you’re looking – and calm the F A R K down so that you can rest and digest!
Because it feels like a treat, when really, it’s full of everything we need; protein, essential fatty acids, vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and fibre.
Every meal tastes jazzy when it’s smothered in nut butter.
In my glorious book Periods, Poo & A Glorious You I spelt your name wrong on several occasions. I do get it right on page 34 but the other pages say Kumut. To make matters more awkward, I instruct people to pronounce your name Koo-moot instead of Ka-moot.
